(Disclamer: I am not a Communist, this letter is written in a language for a specific person who undertands my sense of humor and lack of.)
I wanted to take a moment to apologize for my outburst. At the moment it fell from my lips and I looked at the expression on your face as well as another party member and I knew, I KNEW I shouldn’t have said it. I can’t un-ring a bell.
We are rulers in this Communist country balancing out our own idiosyncrasies and trying to make sure the wealth is equally distributed amongst the people. In this case “wealth” being a metaphor for time, attention, and respect etc. Sometimes the people highest in power are abusive with power not because of ambition or intent of further acquisition, but rather because when one has power, one tends to habitually use it.
As a ruling member of the poor elite I sometimes forget that of all the party members, I may be the most emotionally disconnected from everything. I have the range of emotions as all people, but they aren’t filtered through me like everyone else. “Some things you just don’t say…..” Insert anything you need to finish the quote. I can’t un-ring a bell.
Someone brought to my attention that I have a “sense of entitlement”. Lol. So true, so true. Don’t get me wrong, not some Paris Hilton getting pulled over with coke sense of entitlement, but rather I have the right to express how I feel at anytime to another party member. I don’t think about it, even though I should. When I don’t like something, I say it. When I do like something, I say it. When I’m bothered, I express it.
You said I could have expressed my concerns politely over the phone or invite you out to discuss these matters. Well, comrade, these days you seldom answer your phone when I call and I haven’t been able to get a private audience in months. That’s real. So I blurted out my issues with a decree you made at a party meeting. Certainly not the best time, yet these days, it seemed to be the only time I’d ever have. I can’t un-ring a bell.
There are exceptions to every rule. Some things you keep to yourself. There is a time and place for everything.
It’s difficult to govern under a strict set of rules, while having to consider the exceptions. I feel that there is NEVER a good time to tell anyone anything remotely negative you may feel/felt about something they did, do, or may do. If someone is at their most euphoric, you don’t want to bring them down. If someone is down about something, you don’t want to bury them deeper. If someone is in a state of respite, you don’t want to add turbulence to those tranquil waters.
Someone suggested I should have express my concerns much later down the road after the newer countries have been added to “The Republic” through merger agreements and ceremonies. The thing about that comrade is, I believe you would still be upset that this “issue” was not expressed much sooner. I’ve seen this happen. I can’t un-ring a bell.
To my dearest comrade, I understand you are pissed and seriously hurt. I except that. If I could erase my deeds from the history books I would. Yet while the general population would eventually forget George Orwell, 1984 style, we would still know. I can’t un-ring a bell.
You expressed in the State of the Union Address of your Province, that you are in communication black out. Well remember that’s how the other country, I’ve been in negotiations with for over a year, handles their issues with me. I’m use to it.
In closing I would like to restate, that I apologize for my outburst. I will not promise that won’t have future outburst, but rather I promise I’ll try to have more tact. I send this letter out to you in hopes that it finds you well. As always be blessed.
Your Comrade in Arms