Greetings beautiful people
Been biting my nails a lot lately. I’ve noticed that’s a sign that I’m troubled, even when I’m not conscious of these troubles. I have to take a step back and look at the big picture because up close everything looks like a Monet. It’s all pretty colored dots.
Things in life are going about as well as can be expected, more specifically the things that I govern. Things like work, bills, home etc. Yet it’s when the collaborative takes place, that all my troubles are no longer so far away. During any relationship (friends, lovers, family etc) some compromise must take place. That meaning all parties involved must give up something in order to gain something. When compromise doesn’t occur, then conflict does. I am no stranger to either of these concepts.
Sometimes I walk a very fine line between being myself and being what others want/need me to be. I know, I know. Ty you should just do you! Well sad to say I am tragically human. I have many insecurities that block my chi. I’m getting better at being better.
I try to never put up fronts. I’ve fired my representative (sorry Chris Rock). Mr. Sawyer is kind of an alter ego that protects Ty from the destructive power and beauty of ignorance. It seems Mr. Sawyer sometimes slips.
To be honest. I’m seldom ignorant to the divisive nature of humans. Lying to me is stupid, because , as a friend of mine once told me, when I like something, I research the hell out it. Nail biting. Spider sense going off. Arguments = weapons of mass distraction.
When I meet people, I avoid lying at all cost. No matter how strange I am, I’m going to give it all to you. The good and the bad. After a barrage of my personality if you still around, then we will be cool. Sometimes my thought process may stray from the socially acceptable, but then again my brain isn’t built to follow all these rules. I’m still trying to break the rules of gravity.
Those of you who are confident contradictions, watch yourselves. When you create too many alternate realities you may forget to come back to this one. Just cause you see me on this world, doesn’t mean I’m of it. I’m an alien walking your landscape and my alarm keeps ringing. I’m biting my nails a lot lately. Consuming myself to sustain myself cause I can’t eat the food here.
Until next time beautiful people